Counseling and Life Coaching

Everyone needs direction in some point by someday. Knowledge and experience speaks wisdom to anyone who cannot handle everything.

10 UNDENIABLE LESSONS IN MARRIAGE

  1. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS: Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.
  2. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK SIDE: No one is an angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!
  3. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES: Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
  4. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS: Don’t compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
  5. TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR: When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumours, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
  6. THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE: There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, gear box, etc If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.
  7. GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE: God gives you, her or him in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve.
  8. TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK: You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.
  9. MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT: Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.
  10. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY: Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdrawn. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.

May God grant us the grace and wisdom to succeed in it. Amen!!!

 

By Theophilus Izobofolo


COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS PROVE OF LOVE – Once upon a time, a man returned from work and found his wife cooking. She gave him a sweet kiss. They were so happy. While they were  at the dinner table, the woman’s cell phone rang, a message from her friend who wished her good night.

The husband saw the message and got upset, and he did not talk about the matter with his wife and went to the bedroom without having dinner.

The woman looked at her husband and thought: No! You are not right! Are you bothered by a simple message? I will not go after you, you are not a kid.

The woman had her meal and went to bed. The couple had angry sleep and turned their back @ each other that night.

At midnight, the wife was sweating with a lot of fever. She is not able to talk. She touched the husband’s back. He responded with dont bother me attitude, removed his wife’s hand.

The woman without more air, died of heart attack.

In the morning, he woke up, took a bath and prepared his things to go to work.

The wife was still in bed, then the man looked at her and do not think it is very good, but ignored her with the thought of: I will not speak to her, until she does it first!

Then, he dressed up, had breakfast and went to work.

In the afternoon, when the husband returned home, he brought a beautiful watch that he loved for his wife.

When the husband arrived home, he was happy, he is going to give that precious clock to his beloved wife and tell her how much he loved her, how much he was in love with her and would give her many kisses.

Then, he opens the door and goes to the kitchen, because he was ready to surprise his beloved with a big dinner, but he sees that the breakfast was still there; then he thinks: she is still mad at me !!!

The man goes to the room to leave his briefcase, and sees that the wife was still in the bed lying in the same position.

Scared, he goes to her and something tells him she was dead.

The husband cries, cries a lot and more. He screams in despair, because the wife was dead …

REFLECTION: COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS PROVE OF LOVE; The time is too short for fights. Know how to take advantage of it.

Take good care of your partner! Love your wife or husband, give him pampering, fill her with kisses, tell her how much he loves or loves her, of love and love !!!

Because time never waited for anyone. Above all do not be proud in love and solve everything, do not go to bed angrily.

Stop and think: If you do not want to put pride aside and solve things, the consequences can be irreversible. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice for love; there are no perfect people, there are real loves willing to sacrifice for that love! .

Communication In marriage is prove of love between couples, and it is always very important, when they have had something difference or discussion, try to solve it before going to sleep. I will not tell you that marriage is honey, that you will never see problems that is a lie, and whoever says that he never fought with his partner is a liar, but everything has a solution except death.

By: Uduak Utin


INTENTIONALITY – THE FENCE ROUND YOUR DISTRACTIONS

In a world where varieties and options are in abundance. It will do you no good, if what sums up as your conviction is superficial because sooner than expected, frustration will come knocking.

You see, Life will always test the true state of your heart. As much as it is easy to discard a cloth you’ve lost taste for maybe because it got torn or the colour got worn, It’s not that way when choosing a partner. Disaster awaits you if you resort to this approach.

I visited a shop in search of a dress and behold, they had varieties in stock. I was so confused on which to purchase. They all caught my attention. But I had to stick to what I wanted. How was i able to do that? INTENTIONALITY

Intentionality is key: Life will always test the very core of our thoughts. Knowing exactly what you want will save you some heartaches.

Before I got to the shop, my resolve was to get a dress, although I never knew which colour I’ll chose but it was clear that it is either a dress or a dress.

That’s why it is expedient you resolve from within who you can spend the rest of your life with and who is a NO, NO.

I believe you are aware that people will always flaunt their best but you’ve got to know what you want and be Intentional about it.

To be Intentional means: You must have control over your choices.

Even when life test you to act otherwise, you’re guided by your “why”. Your reasons are the core for your actions.

INTENTIONALITY IS THE FENCE ROUND YOUR DISTRACTIONS.

#MakingItWork

#RelationshipSeries

By: Theophilus Izobofolo


THINGS THAT CAUSE REGRET AT OLD AGE

When younger we make various choices without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite us in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret when they’re older.

  1. Marrying the wrong person: When you’re young, check your motives for marrying. Don’t marry to copy your peers, or for social standing or out of pressure. Marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. For if you marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, you will have to put up with that person the rest of your life. Things might get worse between you two; then depression, physical abuse, affairs, pain, shame, court cases, bitterness will define your mid-life years all because you chose the wrong one. Things will get worse when children are involved. Make the right choice of a spouse when you are young.
  2. The opportunities you did not seize: When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride; yet well younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself. Some think the opportunities are too big for them. Take advantage of them or one day when you’re older you will want to go back and grab those missed chances.
  3. The bridges you burned: When we are younger, we care little for relationships, what most think about is getting money and moving up the ladder of success at all cost. Many use and trample on people to progress, they take relationships for granted, messing up bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. But these bad actions will catch up with you ahead. When you will realize how empty life is without love and friends. When you will have success but no one around you or no one to trust you.
  4. The child you aborted: You are a young lady, you get pregnant and you are scared. You take the aborting option quickly thinking of that moment then. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you will be rich and successful you will wish that child you gave up on would be around to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you can’t make it in life or you can’t find a man in future.
  5. The child you rejected: Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she’s pregnant with your child. You rejected her and the baby and ran. But years later when you’re 50 something, you will wish you were responsible, you will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see that child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to that grown child who you rejected from the beginning. You will regret being a Dead Beat Dad by choice
  6. The marriage you destroyed: So you get married to your good fiance; the first months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Your spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting, your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had began to build for mere temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.
  7. The God you disowned: When you are much older you become wiser, God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don’t wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, build your future with God. Don’t be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up.
  8. The body you messed up: You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you’re consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you took care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.
  9. The time you wasted: The time you are wasting when younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get it back.
  10. The dreams and talents you shelved: Are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don’t give up even if you encounter set backs, don’t give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you’re older you will look at your peers who stuck to what they love and made it and think to self, “That could have been me”. Pursue a career, study a course you love. Don’t waste years of your life in a field that doesn’t fulfill you.
  11. The name you defamed: When you are older, a legacy is very important, the value of your name is crucial. You will ask yourself what is your reputation, what are you leaving behind? Your legacy is a sum total of your actions since youthful days. We write our biography by how we live life everyday. When you look back your path and you see the mud you threw at your own name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.
  12. The wealth you threw away: Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don’t throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with that money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so that you will never say “I wish I knew better”
  13. The good love that got away: Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don’t push that person away, or else that person will walk out your life and you will never ever find someone that incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of “What if I was still with that person?”
  14. The parents you despised: When younger, it is easy to show contempt to your parents; what do your parent’s know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small -minded. But your parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don’t let your parent die or age separated from you, reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the value.

Thanks for reading

Read quietly then send it back on its journey

To realize the value of a sister/brother ask someone who doesn’t have one.

To realize the value of ten years: ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years: ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year: ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months: ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month: ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week: ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute: ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one second: ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.

Remember….

Hold on tight to the ones you love!

REGRET IS THE REWARD FOR IGNORANCE

HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS U NEED 2 TEACH UR CHILD(REN) AT EARLY AGE

1: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

  1. Never allow any adult refer to your child as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’

  2. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

  3. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

  4. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.

  5. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don’t, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

  1. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

  2. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that

includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

  1. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the

crowd.

13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it.

Take up the case and show them you can defend them.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.

and remember “THE PAIN LASTS A LIFETIME”

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