HUSBAND SCARCITY – WHY?

By Maryam Habu Shinga


HUSBAND SCARCITY – WHY?

“This may not be the best time for me to write on this because of misinterpretations, but I can no longer resist the push.

“Husband Scarcity” has become one of the challenges faced by many young girls today.
If you go to prayer houses, majority of the intentions are prayer for a life partner. And this calls for concern.

Casting our minds back to the time of our mothers and grandmothers, was there really much of a “Husband Scarcity” problem?

Or, maybe there were more men than women then, or there was an adequate corresponding numbers of both genders. I don’t think so. Maybe then, the women had values and were prepared to build a home and not park into a built home.

Then, once a young man comes of age and can at least feed himself and his wife, he goes out in search of a wife and the woman really appreciates him and helps him to build a future. What am I really trying to say?

We created what we now see as “Husband Scarcity” for ourselves. Today, the reverse is the case. Ask an average girl to define her dream husband; you get things like “he has to be tall, handsome, fair, and rich, own a house at least, and be presentable” and then she adds “God fearing” in order not to sound so worldly.

Then, check the number of girls around you and the number of men that meet that standard, and you will see the problem. You hear girls say, “I cannot suffer in my father’s house and then go and start suffering with a man.”

What a wonderful dream! What if from the beginning, you have everything you want and there is no suffering, and later in the marriage, the table turns around, then comes suffering? Will you run away? No one prays for suffering, but it is good to start small and end big, than start big and end small.

The problem is that the description majority of girls give of their ideal man is virtually the same. When 50 girls want the same kind of man and the man that fits what they want is just 1 man, and the man can only pick one. Then, what becomes of 49 others? HUSBAND SCARCITY – WHY?

They simply start lamenting of “Husband Scarcity”. Another irony of our time is that it is hard, due to the face of our economy to find a man who is of marriage age who possesses all those things these ladies want, legally (except those involved in Internet fraud); even the number of those in Internet fraud is not enough to match all those searching for already made husbands.

If you look around, majority of the ladies of substance, of good value and virtue, who are ready to build a home with a man who has prospects, are married and not complaining of husband scarcity. The easiest way to find a husband now, is to change your view of who a husband is.

A husband is that man God made and then saw that it may be hard for him to really actualize his purpose for making him, without a help mate and then made the woman and gave to him, and he felt complete and fulfilled MARRIAGE IS NOT A POVERTY ALLEVIATION PROGRAM. It is a mission of building the family of God here on earth.

For those who see marriage as a way out of poverty, it is a way into bondage. Women are HOME BUILDERS, not HOME WARMERS… DON’T CONFUSE A MAN’S PATH WITH HIS DESTINY. Where he is today, may only be a route to where God has destined him to be tomorrow.

Another truth is that YOU MAY BE THE ONLY FAST MEANS TO THAT HIS DESTINATION. Join in alleviating “husband scarcity”.

PICK UP THE RIGHT VALUES. I am not saying that you should pick anyone that comes your way and talks of marriage, not all men are husband materials. What I am saying is that you should stop setting your standard on material acquisitions or physical appearances. Look beyond the physical.

WHAT MAKES A MAN WHO HE IS, IS NOT WHAT HE OWNS OR HOW HE LOOKS, IT IS WHAT HE IS MADE UP OF.

And that which he is made of is, most times, not seen with the physical eyes, only its effects can be seen. Marriage is a permanent thing. Whatever is seen is temporal and that which is not seen is permanent.”

Stop building mentality of husband scarcity by scaling down your unrealistic aspirations.

COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS PROVE OF LOVE

By Theophilus Izobofolo


COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS PROVE OF LOVE – Once upon a time, a man returned from work and found his wife cooking. She gave him a sweet kiss. They were so happy. While they were  at the dinner table, the woman’s cell phone rang, a message from her friend who wished her good night.

The husband saw the message and got upset, and he did not talk about the matter with his wife and went to the bedroom without having dinner.

The woman looked at her husband and thought: No! You are not right! Are you bothered by a simple message? I will not go after you, you are not a kid.

The woman had her meal and went to bed. The couple had angry sleep and turned their back @ each other that night.

At midnight, the wife was sweating with a lot of fever. She is not able to talk. She touched the husband’s back. He responded with dont bother me attitude, removed his wife’s hand.

The woman without more air, died of heart attack.

In the morning, he woke up, took a bath and prepared his things to go to work.

The wife was still in bed, then the man looked at her and do not think it is very good, but ignored her with the thought of: I will not speak to her, until she does it first!

Then, he dressed up, had breakfast and went to work.

In the afternoon, when the husband returned home, he brought a beautiful watch that he loved for his wife.

When the husband arrived home, he was happy, he is going to give that precious clock to his beloved wife and tell her how much he loved her, how much he was in love with her and would give her many kisses.

Then, he opens the door and goes to the kitchen, because he was ready to surprise his beloved with a big dinner, but he sees that the breakfast was still there; then he thinks: she is still mad at me !!!

The man goes to the room to leave his briefcase, and sees that the wife was still in the bed lying in the same position.

Scared, he goes to her and something tells him she was dead.

The husband cries, cries a lot and more. He screams in despair, because the wife was dead …

REFLECTION: COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS PROVE OF LOVE; The time is too short for fights. Know how to take advantage of it.

Take good care of your partner! Love your wife or husband, give him pampering, fill her with kisses, tell her how much he loves or loves her, of love and love !!!

Because time never waited for anyone. Above all do not be proud in love and solve everything, do not go to bed angrily.

Stop and think: If you do not want to put pride aside and solve things, the consequences can be irreversible. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice for love; there are no perfect people, there are real loves willing to sacrifice for that love! .

Communication In marriage is prove of love between couples, and it is always very important, when they have had something difference or discussion, try to solve it before going to sleep. I will not tell you that marriage is honey, that you will never see problems that is a lie, and whoever says that he never fought with his partner is a liar, but everything has a solution except death.

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY A MAN FOR HIS MONEY, BUT HIS CHARACTERCHARACTER

By: Mr. Theophilus Izobofolo


WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY A MAN FOR HIS MONEY, BUT HIS CHARACTER

Money can make a monkey look like a man but money cannot make a monkey behave like a man. So if you are a young lady who goes ahead to marry a monkey for his wealth, bear in mind when the money goes, the monkey remains as it is.

In other words, when you marry a man because of his wealth and in spite of his bad character, bear in mind that the money is temporary. When the money is finished; you have to deal with his real character. Character, they say is like tea bag; its true colours are revealed in hot water.

You get to know the one you are in a relationship with better in bad times; when things are not working for them, when business is slow, when stress knocks them down, when frustration visits them.

The true test of his character is what will keep your marriage. Now that doesn’t come on your best days but on your worst days. You might meet him on his best days when money is not a problem but you will leave on the worst days when money is the problem.

Character is who we are, it is that which informs our behaviours and actions. It is easy to lose money but difficult to lose one’s character. Don’t love a man because of his wealth, love him for who he is, which is his character, his personality. Wealth or money should be the bonus or secondary, not primary.

The best comparison for character is a photograph. Photos don’t change even when the person in it changes. A man’s character doesn’t change when his status changes. A man’s character doesn’t change when his pocket changes.

Truth be told, a man is not rich because of his wealth or money, a man is rich by the things that he has and money cannot buy. A man is rich by his integrity. His love for God and that for you. A man is rich in knowledge not in properties.

A man is rich by the way his spends his time with God and you. Time is one thing you can never get back when you lose it. If out of his busy schedules, he made time for God, his Creator and you his lover, such man is rich. He is rich if he respects you, even in your absence.

Rich guys, handsome men are everywhere; but those rich in heart, men with beautiful minds are really hard to find. Just as the saying goes “not all that glitters is gold”. Sometimes the rich men are found without wealth.

If you are a young lady thinking of a successful marriage and future, your goal is to live rich and make your union richer, not to get rich. For you can get a rich partner with a poor heart. A heartless man who treats you poorly.

He can be rich, prayerful and keep up a holy appearance as if he is the most God fearing person on earth, but if he treat you bad or has a bad behaviour, he is not someone you have to settle down with.

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY A MAN FOR HIS MONEY, BUT HIS CHARACTER…IN A MAN DON’T LOOK ON WHAT HE DRIVES BUT LOOK FOR WHAT DRIVES HIM.

Women’s Misconception About Weddings And Marriage

30 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE YOU MARRY A PASTOR

Republished by: Izobofolo Evangelical Ministries


30 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE YOU MARRY A PASTOR – Every lady has a dream of getting married someday to her prince charming who will fit into her expectations and who she will live happily ever after with but before you go ahead into that marriage if your prince charming is a pastor you really need to get yourself to the under listed points. Happy reading.

(1 )   GET TO KNOW HIS AREA OF CALLING:

You need to ask questions from him which aspect of the ministry he is called into, is it deliverance, faith, healing etc Where is he suppose to function in the body of Christ. You need to understand his calling very well and get prepared for the task ahead.

(2 )    GOD IS HIS EMPLOYER NOT THE CHURCH:

Do not expect that because he is in charge of a large congregation then you will not have financial challenges, many have the notion that Pastors have free access to Church money and always get disappointed after marrying him. Note that the Pastor is not the sole signatory to Church account, the church is not an ATM.You had better prepared to spend your personal money on God’s work. If your reason for wanting to marry that Pastor is money induced, please, cancel your wedding.

(3 )    PREPARE FOR A CHANGE

When you get married to a pastor, it will obstruct your plans, change your directions and divert your focus.Dear, there are values that you will have to uphold, actions you will not be able to take, sacrifices you will have to make, your life directions will be significantly affected.How flexible are you?

(4 )   PARTNER IN SERVICE

1 peter 4: 10, John 13: 13-17, Please, know that you are his partner in service to bless and meet people’s needs in the Name of Jesus, you are to serve alongside him, do not go with the mindset that people are to serve you.You must embrace his ministry, learn under him and give him the total support.

(5 )   LADIES PASTOR

He will not only be the pastor of men but of ladies too and some of them will be extremely attractive. So, if you are a jealous type, you had better marry someone else and quit your relationship with the Pastor.

(6 )   BIG HEART

It is not only a big hat that makes a pastor’s wife but a big heart growing in the Lord and towards the Lord Jesus. You must have a large heart to accommodate and manage different classes of people with varying characters.

(7 )   NO DEPENDENCY ON PEOPLE FOR AFFIRMATION

Before you marry a pastor you must erase your dependency on people for affirmation and increase your dependency on God for approval.

(8 )   RIGHT SPIRIT

A positive and caring spirit to serve others will be helpful, you must do away with self-centeredness and solo life because a pastor is a man of the people

(9 )   SLEEPING ALONE

The demand of the ministry might require him to travel for ministerial assignments, meetings, and retreats which may take him away from you at night.

(10 )   OPPOSE EXTRAVAGANT LIFESTYLE

If you must marry a Pastor, you must do away with extravagance lifestyle and be humane. You must not be materialistic lest the church members detest you

(11 )    ACT OF HOSPITALITY

Before you marry a pastor, how hospitable are you? A lot of People will come for counseling in your house and most of them may not be financially strong but you must be hospitable towards them even if they don’t appreciate what you are doing.

(12 )    PREPARE TO BE A GLOBETROTTER

The work of a pastor involves a lot of transfer from city to city and nation to nation. At times, he may not spend up to three months in a location before he gets another letter of transfer. If you don’t like moving from one place to another, quit your relationship with the pastor now

(13 )    HE HAS A BOSS

He has a Boss –GOD. Do not expect him to put you ahead of his Boss. Help him to serve and obey God in all things.Please, don’t push him against God.

(14 )    MAN OF GOD

Before you marry a pastor, please always remember that he is a man. So, do not assume that been a man of God he does not have sexual urge and temptations like other men, he does. Maintaining your good looks and shape is very important for you to be able to keep him from falling into temptations.

(15 )   GOD’S  REPRESENTATIVE

Before you marry that pastor, know that he is not just a man but God’s mouthpiece and His representative and you must respect and treat him as such, will you be able to?

(16)  NO EVERYDAY ROMANCE

Marrying a pastor come with its own challenges and one of it is that pastor will pray at night.So, sorry no everyday romance in a Pastor’s diary.

(17)  IT IS A 24/7 JOB:

A pastor’s job is a 24 hours of the seven days in the week, it fit the slogan FULL TIME. There may not be time to go out to your favourite restaurant in a long time because of the round the clock attention demand from his church members. Can you cope with this?

(18)  NOT AN OIL WORKER:

Before you marry that pastor, please wake up to the fact that he is not an oil and gas staff. So, conflict: money may not flow like you think. Although, God’s staff are the best paid in the world over but will you be able to wait faithfully for Him to pay? His timing is totally different.

(19) CHURCH CONFLICT:

Mama in the waiting, there will be conflict. Yes, even in the church, people disagree and sometimes flesh might be displayed in a dirty manner. They may form a caucus and gang up against the pastor. Are you mature enough to handle it?

(20)   THE PERFECT WIFE:

You will be expected to behave perfectly, other women have the right to get angry and show it but not YOU, even your Prince charming expectation will be higher as he expect you not to demonstrate your displeasure no matter the circumstances. Are you prepared for this?

(21)   MUMMY MISSION:

Before you marry that pastor, hope you do not have anything against living in the mission house especially if he is a pastor in a denomination where their Pastor must live in the mission house. please,be inform that the mission house is everybody’s house as the Church members can walk in at any time, deny you your privacy, eat your food, exhaust your water, messed up your toilet and you must not complain because the house is built with their money for them to have unhindered access to their Pastor.

(22)   PRAY FOR ALL:

The elders, deacons, workers that hate your husband will be known to you and you still have to pray for them and with them, can you do this?

(23)    FORGIVES AND FORGET:

Before you marry that pastor, please be informed that you will be expected to forgive and forget offenses fast so as not to hinder the Church and the Pastor’s prayer.You must have forgiveness in wholesale because, members, ministers, deacons, good women, men, girl the youths and elders will offend you and you must forgive the if you want your husband to excel in his calling.

(24)   PERFECT PARENTING:

Your children are not expected to make mistake, display tantrums, be too playful, they are expected to be mini Angels. God help you, girl if they are not.

(25)   ALL PROGRAMS :

Before you marry a pastor please note that you will be forced to attend all Church programs, no excuse of any kind. If not , the Church will be having negative impression about you.

(26)   FASTING:

As the pastor mrs, you will fast and this is not a suggestion but a compulsory thing as it comes with your wedding package.

(27)   PRAYER MACHINE:

Before you marry the pastor, be inform that you will pray when you feel like praying and when you don’t feel like prayer.Prayer must become your hubby. As you become pastor mrs, you must know how to PUSH. That is praying until something happens and in the Ministry, we will never stop praying until Jesus come.

(28)   LEAD WOMEN:

Your good women leader might be as old as your mum, some will try to make you realize that they are older and want to intimidate you, will you be able to handle them with wisdom?

(29)   MEETING, SEMINARS etc:

Before you decide to marry that pastor, girl note  that he will be required to attend many meetings, seminars, and  plan, organise revivals, crusades, meetings , seminars, etc You might be required to organise seminars for women, youths and pregnant mothers which  may be quite big, do you have that capacity? he will attend some alone will you be fine?

(30)   DEMONIC ATTACK:

Attacks are directed at the shepherd so expect it, are you equipped enough for this? Are you a spiritually vibrant sister or a weakling? Do you have that strong relationship with heaven? Matt 26:31

30 MARRIAGE RULES FOR MEN

SIMPLE WISDOM FOR WOMEN ASPIRING GREATNESS

Republished by: Izobofolo’s Blog


SIMPLE WISDOM FOR WOMEN ASPIRING GREATNESS

  1. A WISE WOMAN HAS SECRETS

You can’t be too naked with your love, social or spiritual life and expect dignity. Not everyone should know what you are going through. Be a self-contained lady.

  1. A WISE WOMAN HAS SURPRISES

There is beauty in a surprise. Don’t run around announcing things that are not yet….. It only destroys their beauty. And when they fail you will suffer unnecessary shame. Be a self-controlled lady.

  1.  A WISE WOMAN IS UNPREDICTABLE

People should know there is both yes and no in your mouth. Your moves and words shouldn’t be too obvious. Be a deep lady

  1.  A WISE WOMAN HAS A FEW BUT MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS

You can’t be a friend to everyone and have focus. You can’t be the organiser in every social activity and be a productive woman. Love all but a close friend of a few!

  1.  A WISE WOMAN DOES LESS OF GIRLS TALK

You can’t have too much talk and work at the same time. Cheap talks only lead to empty gossips! A gossiping woman is a shallow woman.

  1. A WISE WOMAN HAS TIME FOR HERSELF

You can’t understand yourself better until you create time for yourself.

Create time to see your weaknesses and work on them. Have time for self correction lady

  1. A WISE WOMAN INTERACTS WITH GOD

You cannot have the highest level of wisdom until you interact with its source. Rare breeds of women are found here…. at the feet👣 of JESUS. To be a Godly woman pays, so connect to the divine source.

Give God time lady!

God bless all the beautiful women who has vowed to live a life of dignity and promise to replicate the greatness in the lives of other women. Remember! Your dignity is your pride, protect it.

SIMPLE WISDOM FOR WOMEN ASPIRING GREATNESS!