HISTORY: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ESAN PEOPLE OF EDO STATE, NIGERIA

Republished by Theophilus Izobofolo

HISTORY: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ESAN PEOPLE OF EDO STATE, NIGERIA

The Esan people (Esan: Ẹ̀bhò Ẹ̀sán) are an ethnic group of south-south Nigeria who speak the Esan language. The Esan are traditionally agriculturalists and hunters. They cultivate palm trees, Irvingia gabonensis (erhonhiele), Cherry (Otien), bell pepper (akoh) coconut, betel nut, kola nut, black pear, avocado pear, yams, cocoyam, cassava, maize, rice, beans, groundnut, bananas, oranges, plantains, sugar cane, tomato, potato, okra, pineapple, paw paw, and various vegetables.

The modern Esan nation is believed to have been organized during the 15th century, when citizens, mostly nobles and princes, left the neighbouring Benin Empire for the northeast. They formed communities and kingdoms called Eguares among the aboriginal peoples whom they met there.

There are on the whole 35 established kingdoms in Esanland, including Ebelle, Ewohimi, Ekpoma, Ubiaja, Uromi, Uzea, Igueben, Ewatto, Irrua, Opoji, Ugboha and Ewu.

The Esan people primarily speak the Esan language, an Edoid language related to Edo, Urhobo, Owan language, Isoko, and Etsako. It is considered a regionally important language in Nigeria, and it is taught in primary schools in addition to being broadcast on radio and television. The Esan language is also recognized in the Census of the United Kingdom.

It is estimated that the Esan people who reside in Esanland number about one million to 2.5 million citizens in Nigeria and there is a strong Esan diaspora. Esan-speaking communities exist in the United States, the United Kingdom, South Africa, Canada, Spain, and Italy. Pan-Esan groups such as the Esan World Congress have kept the Esan community tight-knit.

ORIGIN OF ESAN

The biggest influence on Esanland came from Edo, founders of Benin Empire.

In 1460, Oba Ewuare passed laws of mourning that prohibited sexual intercourse, bathing, drumming, dancing, and cooking. These laws proved too restrictive for many citizens, and these citizens fled the kingdom to Esanland. This exodus shaped Esanland’s modern cultural identity and gave rise to the term “Esan,” or “refugee.” Oral tradition has heavily supported this theory. Prominent Esan and Edo historians have collected stories about this migration.

The term Esan has been applied to the Esan people for thousands of years and was used before contact with Europeans. It is believed by many historians that the name ‘Esan’ (originally, ‘E san fia’) owes its origin to Bini (meaning, ‘they have fled’ or ‘they jumped away’ from an uncomfortable system).

‘Ishan’ is an Anglicized form of ‘Esan’, the result of colonial Britain’s inability to properly pronounce the name of this ethnic group. It is believed that similar corruption has affected such Esan names as ubhẹkhẹ (now ‘obeche’ tree), uloko (now ‘iroko’ tree), Abhuluimẹn (now ‘Aburime’), etc.

ESAN WARS

During the 16th century, the Uzea War occurred. This war was between the Uromi Kingdom and the Benin Kingdom. The war lasted from 1502 to 1503, and resulted from a refusal of friendship from Oba Ozolua of Benin by Onojie Agba of Uromi. The war ended at the town of Uzea, when both leaders were killed. However, in peaceful times Esan kingdoms would loan soldiers to the Benin Kingdom, such as during the Idah War of 1515-1516, and the sacking of Akure in 1823.

During the nineteenth century, northern Esanland was continually attacked and sacked by the Muslim Nupe people in the hunt for slaves and converts to Islam, having previously taken over the Kukuruku peoples’ lands. Many Esan kingdoms from the south helped in the battle to fend off the Nupes. The battles came into the Esans’ favor; several Nupe and Etsako warriors were brought into Esan cities where their posterity reside today. The nineteenth century brought increasing influence of Europe on Esanland, as the English demanded palm-products.

In 1897, the British sacked the Benin Empire, effectively leaving the Esans free from British rule.

In 1899, the British led an invasion into the Esan kingdoms that lasted for seven years. Esanland proved to be harder to conquer than the Benin Kingdom because of its strong autonomy: Kingdoms chose to keep fighting the British even if its neighbors fell. Fallen Benin chiefs like Ologbosere and Ebohon were still resistant to British rule inadvertently guarded Esan soil from the west, by establishing military camps and blocking roads. This lasted from 1897 to April 22. 1899, where Ologbosere surrendered at the border village of Okemue.

The first kingdom to be attacked by the British was the Kingdom of Ekpon. Ekpon launched a fierce resistance against the British invasion on April 22, which nearly destroyed the kingdom. After the near genocide of Esans at Ekpon, the kingdom of Ekpon led an ambush of the British camp at Okueme, on April 29. This led British forces to retreat, consolidate their power, and kill Ologbosere in May. Subsequent attempts by the British failed as well: conquests into Irrua, for example, led to an adoption of a guerrilla warfare strategy followed by a retreat; this method was so successful that other Esan kingdoms adopted it and the British did not invade Esanland until 1901.

On March 16, 1901, the Kingdom of Uromi, headed by the old, yet intelligent Onojie Okolo, was attacked by the British. The Uromi resistance, led by Prince Okojie, was swift and employed guerrilla warfare.

After a short time, British forces overtook the village Amedeokhian, where Okolo was stationed, and murdered him. This angered Prince Okojie so much that he killed the Captain of the British troops before reinforcements were brought in. The British then realized that Uromi was nigh impenetrable without native help, and contact local sympathizers such as Onokpogua, the Ezomo of Uromi. This succeeded in napping Prince Okojie out of the forest and deported to the British offices at Calabar.

GEOGRAPHY

Esan land is bordered to the south by Benin City, to the south-east by Agbor, to the north and east by Etsako, to the west by River Niger. From Ewu to Benin City, the State capital, is 100 km long. No accurate demographic data of the people is available and the various local governments in Esan appear to lack reliable information in this direction. The people populate areas such as Uromi, Ewohimi, Ewatto, Igueben, Irrua, Ubiaja, Ogwa, Ebelle, Ekpon, Ewossa and Amahor, Ekpoma, Ohordua and Ewu in central Edo State, South-South Nigeria. It has a flat landscape, lacking in rocks and mountains, and good for agricultural purpose. The topography of Esanland Ekpon plateau starts its rise from Ekpon and into six miles slope to Ewohimi, creating “Ekpon mini Plateau” . Ekpon is the gateway to Esanland, South East and the first of Esanland Kingdom therein as a border town, where centuries contacts with neighbors south in the Niger Delta, have influenced its Esan dialects by its earlier contacts through subsistence agriculture with the Ika speaking people of Igbanke, Oligie Igbodo etc.

PRESENT DAY LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREAS

Esan West L.G.A., with it’s headquarter in Ekpoma

Esan Central L.G.A., with it’s headquarter in Irrua

Esan North East L.G.A., with it’s headquarter in Uromi

Esan South East L.G.A., with it’s headquarter in Ubiaja

Igueben L.G.A. with it’s headquarter in Igueben.

AGRICULTURE

Rubber trees (used for the production of plastic products) and palm trees rank highest among Esan trees. The land’s variety of fruits range from mango, orange (ate), grapes, pineapples (edinebo), guava, cashew, banana (oghede), plantain, black pear, avocado pear, lime to walnut and even more. Cassava, yam, cocoa yam, sweet potato, pepper, okra and rice are some of its farm produce. It has numerous streams that are too small to afford fishing.

CULTURAL ENTERTAINMENT

Esan dance is dominated by the Igbabonelimhin, an acrobatic dance performed mostly by young males. Igbabonelimhin involves spinning and somersaulting to a timed beat. This dance was mostly performed at New Year’s. Today, the dance is taken as a unique symbol for Esans everywhere.

Other highly entertaining dances include, Agbenojie, Uleke, Ukinabojie, Asonogun, Abayon, Ojeke, etc.

Among musical instruments, the akpata, an African harp, is common among traditional Esan storytellers who would tell stories known as Ulogho.

RELIGION AND FESTIVALS

Today, Esan People are mainly Christians. Over the centuries, Christianity spread across the Esan community. The New Yam Festivals of the Esan people are celebrated from September to November and are collectively referred to as ‘’Ihuan’’.

FOOD

Esan people are addicted to pounded yam with ogbono soup and bush-meat. Their native black soup, omoebe is a must! They however appreciate other Nigerian cuisines.

DRESSING

For the men, Ukpesan is the traditional attire. It is mostly worn at weddings and important events.

The Esan people also dress in an ashobi (a headpiece, a blouse and a long skirt) and traditional village garments.

MILITARY

Esan kingdoms did not have standing armies; rather, kingdoms set up emergency programs in which all of the able bodied men in said kingdom would fight. If a kingdom was attacked, the onojie would contact the edionwele to mobilize the forces. The onojie or odionwele would then appoint a commander, or ‘’okakulo’’ to control forces. The ‘’okakulo’’ would usually be a noble, physically strong, of the ‘’Igene’’ age group and a feared medicine man and man of valour. Typical Esan weapons would include the bow and arrow, crossbow, barbed cudgel and machete, in addition to Dane guns used after the fifteenth century. War would be declared if the kingdom was attacked, if a wife was seized, or if a man was killed (if the latter two occurred, the kingdom could choose to make reprisals.)

ESAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE RITES AND BRIDE PRICE REQUIREMENTS

Esan people value their children, male or female, this is why unlike some cultures; the bride price is very low. The payment of bride price is vital to the conclusion of marriage notable under Esan native law, which like any other customary law marriage in Nigeria; it is recognized under the Marriage Act.

The impression being that Esan people do not sell their daughters into marriage, the requested amount for bride price is usually meagre; 24 Naira (representing 24 cowries or British pounds used in the pre-colonial and colonial days). A huge sum is usually presented these days, from which the prominent members of the bride’s family would remove a small amount and refund the balance to the groom for his wife, their daughter`s up keeping.

We have two major types of marriages in Esan Land: Monogamy- A marriage between one man to one woman and Polygamy- A marriage between one man to two or more wives.

Traditional marriage is usually an arrangement between two families as opposed to an arrangement between two individuals.

The man usually pays the bride-price and is thus considered the head of the family. Adultery is acceptable for men but forbidden for women.

Marriage ceremonies vary among Esan Clans.

Sometimes parents actually go looking for a wife or husband for their children. This led to the BETROTHAL SYSTEM where marriage was conducted with or without the consent of the individuals involved. Sometimes such betrothal, took place when a baby girl was born. Suitors would begin to approach the parents by sending a log of wood or bundle of yam to the parents of the child. You are likely to hear statements such as -” Imu’ Ikerhan gboto”-I have dropped a log of firewood. When a boy decides to get married and the parents have accepted the bride as a prospective daughter-in-law, messages go up and down between the two families. This is called IVBUOMO-SEEKING FOR A BRIDE.

Series of investigations are conducted by both families – about the disease, scandals and crimes which may affect the families.

The terms of the marriage which of course may include the bride-price, would be settled in some families. Gifts for mother of the bride and IROGHAE- members of the extended family would be part of the settlement. Then a date would be set for the ceremony which would take place in the home of the woman’s family.  The OKA EGBE of the woman’s family would normally preside over the ceremony.

Many years ago, the woman would be sent to the bridegroom house about thirteen days after IWANIEN OMO and gingerly hoisted either on her husband’s lap or the OKAEGBE of his family. They are done immediately nowadays in the home of the bridegroom. The bride, now known as OVBIOHA would be led by her relatives to the husband’s house with all her property meanwhile, the family and friends of the bridegroom are feasting, drinking, singing and dancing while waiting for the bride to arrive.

As the family and friends of the bridegroom await the bride (OVBIOHA), messages will arrive suggesting that there are UGHUNGHUN-barriers on the road. The bridegroom has to remove the barriers by sending money to the party, bringing the wife to him or else the wife will not arrive. As they approach the house of the bridegroom, you can hear the echo of OVBIOHA GHA MIEN ARO-ARO, meaning “Bride! Be proud/ the Bride is proud.” Arrival at the bridegroom’s house is immediately followed by the ceremony of IKPOBO-OVBIOHA-washing of the bride’s hands. A bowl of water with money in it would be brought out. A woman in the groom’s family, sometimes his senior wife would bring out a new head tie, wash the hand of the Ovbioha in the bowl and dries her hand with the head tie. Both the new head tie and the money in the bowl belong to the bride.

A few days later, the bride would be taken to the family altar and prayers are said for her. She undergoes what is called the IGBIKHIAVBO ceremony-beating of OKRO on the flat mortar. This would be followed by a visit by the bride’s mother-in-law and other female members of the family to the newlywed if they are not living in the same house. She would demand the bedspread on which they both slept when they had their “first sexual relationship” after the wedding and if the bed-spread was stained with blood, the bride was regarded as a virgin and as such she would be given many presents including money. If it is proven that she was not a virgin, then the preparation for the ceremony of the IVIHEN-OATH TAKING ceremony would be set in motion.

First, she has to confess to the older women, the “other men” in her life before she got married. The husband would never be told any of her confessions, then, she would be summoned to the family shrine early in the morning, without warning to take an oath of FIDELITY, FAITHFULNESS, TRUSTWORTHINESS, HONESTY ETC, to her husband and family. This ceremony is the equivalent of the oath people takes in the church, mosque or marriage registry. Once the oath taking ceremony is over, she would be fully accepted back into the family and immediately becomes married not only to her husband but to the family and sometimes to the community.

Christianity, Islam and Westernization of today have weakened the Edo traditional system of marriage. The traditional ceremony is sometimes done the same day with many of the rituals avoided in the name of Christianity or Islam and many women would rather die than take the oath we described above. It was the oath that kept Edo women out of prostitution for many years; thus making the Edo women, in general, to be regarded as very faithful, trustworthy, honest with strong fidelity to their husbands making neighbouring tribes want them as wives. It also made divorce on the ground of adultery, less common in those days.TES AND BRIDE PRICE REQUIREMENTS

Below is an average bride price list.

Use the below bride price list to draw up your marriage introduction budget, and be prepared by saving up before contacting your future in-laws.

The Holy Bible  – 1 (one)

1 Umbrella

1 suitcase filled with clothes (box of wrappers)

2 bottles of hot drinks (schnapps)

1 crate of malt drinks

1 plate of kolanuts

1 bag of salt

25 liters of palm oil for the bride’s mother

1 jar of palm wine

1 carton of wine for sundry use (the groom should hold this)

3 crates of malt for women of the lineage

6 carton of beer for men of the lineage (broken down into: 2 cartons of small Guinness stout; 2 cartons of Star beer; 2 cartons of Gulder beer)

28 tubers of yam arrange in groups of seven

14 tubers of yam for the eldest man in the lineage

N1,500 cash for the dowry

N5,000 cash for the bride’s mother

N3,000 cash for the bride’s father

N9,000 cash for the men in bride’s lineage

N6,000 cash for the women bride’s lineage

TABOOS

– When a woman is married to an Esan man, it is an abomination for another man to touch her wrapper, else it is considered as though she has committed adultery unless the married woman shouts at the man or reports to her husband.

– It is an abomination for married couples or anyone at that to have s*x in the afternoon as it is believed that a certain spirit would be angered by the act.

– When a woman commits adultery, she will loose her children and her life as repercussion for the abominable act unless she confesses and as restitution, she is stri*ped completely unclad, a part of her head is shaved, a part of her private part is shaved, one of her armpits is shaved and both of her hands are tied behind her, while a basket full of trash is placed on her head. She is then paraded around the community by other women.

– If this is not done and the woman goes ahead to cook for her children, her children will die one after the other including her. If she also confesses to her husband and out of love or pity her husband conceals the confession, he will die within a week, if he eats a meal cooked by the woman.

– It is a taboo for another man to cross an outstretched legs of a married woman else it is considered as though she already had s*x with the man.

– A married woman can not steal her husband’s money in Esan land as it is seen as an abomination. She must tell him about it.

– It is considered an abomination for a man to sit on the matrimonial bed of an Esan couple as it is seen as a taboo.

– It is also an abomination for a woman to spit on her husband under any circumstance. If she does, she must sacrifice a fowl to appease him but the man can bathe his wife with his own spit.

– It is seen as an abomination for an Esan man to use the same bathing bucket with his wife but due to widespread Christianity, this taboo has almost gone into extinction.

– The husband of a woman who just gave birth must stay away from her sexually for three months as she’s considered unclean because of the after delivery blood she discharges.

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ESAN CULTURE ON WOMEN’S INFIDELITY

Holy Women: This Is How To Be An Upgraded Version To Your Husband And Children

Republished by Izobofolo’s Blog


Holy Women: This Is How To Be An Upgraded Version To Your Husband And Children

  1. Dear Married Lady, holy wives don’t just speak in tongues. They cook super meals, they raise godly kids, wear hot dresses(for their husbands), they have mind blowing sex & still make Heaven.

  2. Dear Married Lady, forget about changing your husband. Just be an upgraded version of you with more value and sweetness.

  3. Dear Married Lady, look at your Husband with the lenses of righteousness in Christ Jesus. He may have some wrong doings but do not focus on the wrong doings but rather focus on the Christ in him. In other words, focus on his positives and not the negatives. Do this in wisdom!

  4. Dear Married Lady, familiarity has the tendency of taking things for granted: our family and especially our husbands

Replace nagging with appreciation!

  1. Dear Married Lady, be the number one FAN of your husband. Support him in all his interest. Ensure you decree greatness in all his endeavours. Don’t allow other ladies to do this for you. Be the first and best at this.

  2. Dear Married Lady, as Christ is Love so are you. As Christ is forgiveness so are you. Do not punish your Husband with tight jeans. Let him give you some massage or buy you something nice. You are not a fool! You care for your marriage.

  3. Dear Married Lady, decide that loving is intentional and intentionally love your partner. Find out what love means to your partner and give it. Don’t assume a common definition of love. What is love to you may not be for him

Portray the love he yearns.

  1. Dear Married Lady, in this age where technology is supposed to break homes, use this same technology to build your home. Text your husband some hot messages as a shadow of the things awaiting him at home.

  2. Dear Married lady, don’t focus on the competition outside the home and get bitter. You are not the only Lady who Loves your husband. Focus on your Husband and

give him the best of treatment always; especially when you think he doesn’t deserve it.

  1. Dear Married Ladies, don’t become a prison for your husband. When it gets to the point where he needs space grant it to Him. There is freedom in true love. Over protective love is false and destructive. Use those periods to better yourself. Get the most sexiest look. Be your sweetest self when he returns home. You are always the winner.

  2. Dear Married Woman, be the curious and Creative type.

Don’t be shy to initiate lovemaking. Wear sexy lingeries does not mean you are spoilt or demon possessed. Join in the creativity, make your marriage fun. Afterwards blow in tongues together!

  1. Dear Married Lady, challenges may come in your marriage. Instead of letting it tatter you, you decide to make the best, look your best, love your best in the face of challenges. Guess what the Christ in you is the best. So you can’t be any less.

  2. Dear Married Lady, the fact that you have four kids does not mean let your body look 20 years older. You can start small. Discipline yourself. Check your weight. Don’t eat junk food. Take brisk walks! Exercise your body and be in Lady,

  3. Dear Married Lady, christianity is not the end of descent hot fashion. Christianity is not tagged with old ladyship. That you wear a Long gown does not mean you are holy. Dress well. Be neat. Look presentable. Let the young ladies check you up for the latest descent trend!

  4. Dear Married Lady, even when you’re tired, be sensitive to your man’s bedly needs. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Don’t lazy yourself in front of him. It’s a bad signal. Be in readiness to satisfy Him at all times. Don’t give him reasons to look elsewhere.

  5. A woman of Grace who can find? She has a heart of gold. Gives her best even in the worst. She Loves like no Love other even at the most undeserving times.

  6. She is love. She is forgiveness. She is support. She is prayer. She is wisdom. She is your dream lover. She mothers the world. She is as Jesus is, so precious. She is loyal and strongly soaked in the word. She Rightly fits everywhere.

HOW TO CUT OFF DRAINING EMOTIONAL TIES IN RELATIONSHIPS

Dr. Charles Awuzie


HOW TO CUT OFF DRAINING EMOTIONAL TIES IN RELATIONSHIPS – When Are You Going To Cut Those Draining Emotional ties?

The relationship went from wow to sour, and what used to be a fun filled friendship has now become a thorn in your flesh. A part of you tells you to let them go but another deeper side of you still wants to hold on for another moment. Memories of great times you spent together seem to make you forget the other times they let you down. You struggle between letting go and holding on. Your life is at a standstill. Your career is affected. Tears become common. And worse still, you have nobody to talk to because you left everyone just to be with them.
If you are at this point, it is time to cut that negative emotional attachment and set your soul free. This freedom, like other freedoms, might be painful but it is GAINFUL at the end.

An American therapist listed the following as signs that you may be suffering from Toxic Emotional Ties:

1) Being tempted to get back with them even though the relationship was toxic.

2) Having troubles sleeping because of your constant processing of the past.

3) A desire for revenge, or thinking that you are constantly being treated unfairly.

4) Inability to cease obsessing and thinking about that person.

5) Remembering often their words, their judgment, and criticism towards you.

6) Getting emotional over past memories – i.e. we used to eat at this restaurant.

7) Stalking them on social media.

8.) Deep feelings of anger, sadness, and abandonment.

9) Being an emotional wreck and crying a lot.

If you find yourself showing some or all of the signs above, then this article is for you. It is time to literally BURN the past. Yes, consume the past in a literal fire 🔥. Don’t worry, I will help you do it.

Are you ready? 🤔

Pack a matchbox and a notebook 📔 and go to a quite lonely place.
On different pages, write down the names of the people in your past who still have a NEGATIVE hold on your emotions.

Tear out the pages and yell out those names individually. Then loudly say “(mention name) You are no longer in my life and therefore has no right to control my thoughts and emotions. Today I burn 🔥 every memory I had with you. I consider such memories dead and buried.” Then the burn the page 📄 and do same to all the names in your head.

Step on the ashes and spit on them. If you have the contacts of those people, write them and tell them that you just moved on. Tell them that they have lost their grip on your mind. Wish them well and say Goodbye.
Congratulations 🎊

Now you have power over your past and your past no longer have power over you. You are in charge. You have regained control of your mind. This is freedom. You are revived and restored to your original self.

It’s time to go back home. You are going back to a new season. Remember those great projects you always wanted to accomplish, now is the time to start working on them again. Get remarried to your dreams. The first enemy of your future is your past. The burning of your past is the birth of the future.

The only way to win the battle over emotional ties is to literally cut them. Burn the bridge. Emphasis on the word BURN 🔥.

Research shows that humans are more likely to get over something when they see it in ashes than when they think it still exists somewhere. It’s time to wake up to the reality that your past relationships are actually in ashes and doesn’t exist anywhere – not even in your Ex-partner’s mind. It’s time to let go of the people who let go of you.
Burn the memories to ashes. Cut that cord. Regain your heart.
My name is Charles Awuzie and I am your partner in this journey.
Maranatha.

MARRIED AND SINGLES RELATIONSHIP: SEX IS SWEET, BUT?

REASONS WHY MEN ALWAYS ASK YOU FOR SEX

By: Dr Chinomso Jude Nwala


REASONS WHY MEN ALWAYS ASK YOU FOR SEX – I want to change some ladies mindset today. You see, men are not dogs. Not all of them are mad. Not all the men on the street wants to get into your pants. I’m going to be real and down to earth with this write up. 

The way some ladies complain men are always asking them for sex really baffles me. Why sex, why not marriage proposal? Why do men always want to sleep with you? Why is it that every single guy who asks you out is always hitting you for sex? Why won’t they marry you unless they have a taste of the forbidden fruit? This is a big problem, It is not something to be proud of, if all that men see about you is your body and nothing more. It then cause for alarm!!!!!

(1). CHECK YOUR DRESSING:

A female’s body means nothing to her. You are used to seeing your breasts and every soft body part all your life. It doesn’t mean a thing to you but to guys it means the universe! Men are moved by sight.

Wearing armless (exposing your shaved armpit and upper arm) can turn a man on, talkless of the low neckline exposing the cleavage of your breasts, you wear trousers, tights skirt, (panty hose) which shows the shape of your buttock, mini and micro mini skirts exposing your thigh…all can make a man go wild. Better face reality now and mind the way you dress. Don’t forget that it is only God that sees your heart but men sees the body oh.

(2). LEARN HOW TO SIT:

Some ladies don’t know how to sit. Especially the skirt wearing sisters. You sit in front of a guy and open your laps and be snapping us anyhow so what do you want him to see? A trance or maybe revelation?????  Always close your thigh when you are sitting whether in front of a guy or not.


Not sitting very well can become a habit and follow you around. And you wonder why all the brothers in the church wants to sleep with you.

(3). YOU TOUCH MEN A LOT:

Ladies who touch, hug and wrap themselves around guys are sexual magnets to sexually immature guys. Why are you always hugging and pecking, for what? Can’t you talk without touching, holding and hugging someone? Some even sit on their “friend’s” lap and say it doesn’t matter. He is just a brother in Christ. He would soon be a lover in bed. Learn to control your emotions around the opposite sex. If you must hug, go look for your fellow lady to hug and peck and you still need to be careful. Lesbians are all over the place.

(4). CALLING MEN PET NAMES:

Some people just throw around the word “dear” as if it is a second language, Why would you give all the guys in your life pet names? You say, “thanks dear,” “okay sweetie”, “see you dearie”, “bye love”, yes sugar, Hello honeypie, etc., you are looking for serious trouble. Words like this turns a man on. Even if you must call, set a limit.

(5). YOU PRAISE MEN TOO MUCH:

This shouldn’t be a problem at all but experience has taught me that men are attracted and eventually turned on by women who praise them. You can compliment men if you want to but be discreet and casual about it. Don’t over do anything. Telling a guy, “whao! what a nice moustache you’ve got!” or that “muscle on your arm can make any lady go crazy for you” is indirectly telling him you like his body and wouldn’t mind if he sleeps with you.

(6). YOU SEDUCE MEN:

Here, you deliberately wear provocative dresses with the intention to turn him on. You want to see whether you are sexually admirable to him and want to see how far he can respond to your seduction. You don’t need that test at all. Men are turned on by women whether you seduce him or not. A woman’s body is built to turn a man on. I really get worried when I see these pictures. You can’t have my comments when you post such. Just showing your dirty buttock and breast anyhow on the social media. What a foolishness.

(7). YOU POST SEDUCTIVE PICTURES ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA:

When I see the way some ladies pose on Facebook, I wonder what they are really looking for. Do you want him to kiss you? Why turn your buttock to the camera? Do you want him to see how big it is? Why focus on your chest? Do you want him to know you have form breasts? Or maybe you’ve got nipples like needle?? What is the purpose of the purpose of the pictures you are posting?

You post exposing your body and still have the guts to write oluwa is involve. Sorry you are only making yourself a harlot and that’s what you are. Responsible women don’t do that trash.

(8). YOU ALWAYS MEET YOUR PARTNER IN DARK AND LONELY PLACES.

Lobatan! Sex has finished its mission. Sex loves dark and lonely places. Wait, why are you always avoiding the public? You want to talk? Can’t you still be around people and stay out of ear shot? What are you talking about that we must not hear? Send a text message or write a letter. You don’t need to hide in darkness to express your heart…

(9). YOU SLEEP AT YOUR FIANCE’S HOUSE:

Why are you in a hurry to sleep under the same roof with a man? Why are you in a hurry? What is your problem? Some ladies can’t wait for a man to propose. They pack their bags and move to his house immediately. For what? And when that one gets tired of the sex, he sends them packing and we are here listening to all their tales of woe! Some don’t even expect their man to ask for sex. Aaah? Show me a monkey who doesn’t jump at every sight of banana.

(10). YOU EXPECT MEN TO ASK FOR SEX:

Some ladies think because they are exceptionally beautiful, men will always ask for sex so it’s not really their fault that they sleep around. That is a big lie from the pit of hell!

You need to work on your mind. Thinking all men will die for you because you have a hot body is crap. Not all men lose their senses when they see a woman with seductive body. All irresponsible, immature, abusers and users do get attracted to her anyway. Mature, godly men don’t get their brain twisted on sporting that type of woman.

Watch what you wear, how you sit, where you go and the way you behave around men.

A virtuous woman dresses well to cover her body and comports herself maturely around men. You will be addressed the way you dress. If they are always asking you for sex….,Check what is wrong and fix it….

REASONS WHY MEN ALWAYS ASK YOU FOR SEX

Other articles are:

HOW SEX DESTROYED NAOMI’S LIFE

HOW SEX DOLL IS FULFILLING SATANIC AGENDA

HOW SEX DESTROYED NAOMI’S LIFE

Credit Marriage Pink
Republished: Izobofolo’s Blog


HOW SEX DESTROYED NAOMI’S LIFE – Naomi, was so beautiful, pretty and cute like the most beautiful female journalist at KTN. She was well shaped and every time she was walking around in Jamuhuri estate where she used to live, no man could by pass her without looking at her back. She was admired by almost every man in every place she went to but she fell in love with one guy from Ngong.

They met at Churchill Show at Carnivore Restaurant and that’s where everything started from. The guy was loving and caring. They started as friends but later on became lovers. She loved him so much such that she gave him all her heart. He was the one who was keeping the keys of her heart. Their relationship became so strong. The guy could not wait for their marriage. He started demanding to climb the tree in the middle of the garden of Eden or to ride the mountain bike for 20Km. Naomi, could not resist because she loved him so much.

One day he asked her to spend night with her at Karen Country Lodge in Karen. She accepted in the name of love. Before she could leave for a sleep over, she told her parents that she was going for an overnight prayer meeting at Wold Harvest Int’l- The Hour Of Blessings. Her parents allowed her to go since it was an overnight prayer meeting. From there she took a quick shower. after she finished, she dried herself up and applied some lotion, then she dressed up and left for Karen to meet her lover. She arrived safely and had to meet with her lover. They spent a night together at Karen Country Lodge and the guy did what he really wanted the whole night. No CDs were used. It was a live musical performance.

Naomi got pregnant and the guy dumped her. He left Ngong and started staying in Thika with his elder sister. He even changed his contact number. Naomi, was really heartbroken broken. She was ever crying with her pregnancy till she delivered after nine months at RUNH (Ruaraka Uhai Neema Hospital. She delivered a cute baby girl. The guy was no where to be seen. He forgot about her.

5 years later, she met a guy who was so handsome like her real father. The second guy she met used to live in a very nice place in Kawangware actually a city within a city. He was so caring and loving. It was so interesting the way their relationship started. They knew each other from Prestige Mall where the guy used to work. Every time Naomi came to buy her groceries at Prestige, she could meet with the guy and he could crack jokes and Naomi could laugh out loud. They became good friends and one day he asked for her number and she gave him. They started calling and texting each other almost every day. On his off day he could visit her in Jamuhuri but he never used to reach her home. He could stop somewhere near her place where they had agreed to meet every time he visited her. As days went by, they became so close but Naomi never disclosed to him that she had a kid.

One day when he proposed her she had to share her story and all she went through. She told the guy that she had a 5 year old daughter. The Kawangware guy was so much in love with her so he said, “Sweety, it happens I can’t leave you just because you have a kid. I love you and I will always love you the way and who you are”

Naomi responded in tears, “Honey, I love you more.. please never disappoint me like the previous guy.. hold me tight till the end of time..”

Kawangware guy, “I will definitely do that”

After he graduated from Kenyatta University  where he was doing his part time studies, they got married. He started supporting her daughter (Charity) like a real father. People could not tell that he wasn’t the real father because of the love and care he was showing to the daughter and mother. After he got his degree  from Kenyatta University and got a job with Airtel and stopped working at Prestige Mall. He started making some good income with Airtel. So they shifted from Kawangware as a family and started staying in Hurlingham. In Hurlingham that’s where they had their first child (daughter) and they named her Peggy. The guy was so happy to see and hold his first child in his arms. It was so nice and awesome to have his own child but still he treated his own daughter and step daughter the same. He bought them almost the same things and took them to the same school. So Charity and Peggy never knew that they were step sisters except their parents and some relatives who knew the secret.

Noami, as the mother never wanted to be a house wife for the rest of her life. She also wanted to be doing something so that she could contribute something to the family. So she asked her husband if she could do some studies for herself to start up her own business. Her husband supported her move or suggestion but she could not take a degree because she never had a good grade for the course she wanted Certificate. So her husband enrolled her at Kabete National Polytechnic  under Secretarial Studies. He even bought her a Vitz so that she could drive herself to and from school. From Monday to Friday she could drive herself from home to school till she wrote her final examination and cleared everything. After she got her results, She applied at Daystar University and was accepted and started studying Business Administrationat dip level. In her final year at Daystar, her Ex boyfriend appeared. They met at Arcades and the Ex had to kneel down for her and pleaded for forgiveness as he was shedding tears. Naomi, broke in tears too when she remembered all she went through after he dumped her. They hugged each other and they had lunch together. The Ex humbled himself as though he was not a crook. Naomi’s husband did not know that her Ex was back in Nairobi and their friendship or relationship had begun again. The Ex could follow Naomi at Daystar most of the time and they could talk from there. One day she shared her story with her good friend at Ebru TV and the friend was like, “Please, forget about this EX boyfriend of yours. He will put you into serious problems.

Naomi, “Okay, but I don’t know what to do coz I still love him. He asked for forgiveness and said he was sorry for everything he did to me. He wants us to get back together..”

Friend, “Noami, how will your husband feel when he discovers that you are going out with your Ex”

Naomi, “No wonder am saying i don’t know what to do..”

Friend, “Here is what you have to do: Avoid your Ex. Give him a distance. Don’t entertain him. Delete him from your mind and phone book. He is jealous of your happy marriage. Be very careful you may lose everything”

Naomi, “Okay, thank you so much. I will definitely follow your advice”

Naomi never followed the advice of her good friend at Ebru TV. She continued going out with her EX boyfriend till she was caught in the very act by her husband in Pangani. Her husband was like, “Is this where you do your studies from? Have they shifted Kabete to Pangani?” He slapped her and started beating her Ex boyfriend. After being beaten, the Ex boyfriend ran away. The husband drove home and packed all her belongings. Few minutes later, she also arrived home and her husband was like, “Don’t get inside the house here are your things you can leave with your Ka daughter (Charity). Charity (step daughter) was like, “Dad, what’s wrong?” Step father, “Ofuwo kendo oran! Just get out with your foolish mother” Charity broke in tears. She looked at her mother cried out loud. The husband got the car keys for the Vitz from her hands by force. Naomi, was in tears and she said, “Honey, please forgive me”

Husband, “You thought I was a fool. I have heard a lot about you with your foolish Ex, and todey I’ve witnessed myself. Please go and marry him, malaya hii”.

Charity was shocked and wondered , “What wrong have I done? Why are you chasing me with my mom and leaving out Peggy?”

Step Father, “Am not your dad okay? Ask your mom where your foolish dad is and she will tell you”

Charity, looked at her step dad and her mother and cried bitterly. Naomi and her daughter (Charity) left. They boarded a bus at Yaya Centre and went to Jamuhuri to stay at her parent’s home. Her happy marriage just ended like that. Her Ex boyfriend disappeared from Nairobi again and went to settle at the Coast. Charity, asked her mom who her real father was but her mom never gave her a satisfactory answer. She just said, “Never Mind”

Charity stopped going to school because her step dad stopped paying school fees for her at Brookhouse School. Peggy the real daughter continued schooling and was fully supported by her dad but she missed her step sister Charity. One evening when he came from work she asked him about Charity her step sister. She really wanted to see her. The father was bored with questions about Charity, “Just forget about her. She is not your sister”

Peggy, “Ummmm dad how? I have known Charity to be my real sister and why did you chase her?”

Father, “It’s a long story never mind”

Peggy, “Okay, but I really miss her.. I feel lonely without her”

Charity, was also troubling her mother in Jamuhuri that she wanted to see Peggy. Peggy and Charity loved each other so much as sisters and it was very hard for them to stay apart or separately.

Naomi lost her beautiful marriage. She couldn’t even write her last exam at Daystar. Everything just went sour. She was ever crying at her parent’s home every night. She remembered the words of her good friend from Ebru TV but nothing could be reversed. It was too late to realise and apologise. She lost it all. Every time she remembered how her husband loved her so much she could not hold back her tears. Two weeks later she was found dead in her bedroom. She took some poison according to the postmortem report at KNH.

After they buried, Charity went to see her step father in Hurlingham and when she reached there, she found just about to leave for work. She looked at him and said the following words as she was shedding tears, “Dad, my grandmother in Jamuhuri told me how I was born. I may not be your real daughter or you may not be my real father but I have been raised to believe that you are my one and only father I have ever known in my life. It’s hard for me to live without you and my young sister Peggy… Dad, I want to live with you forever and I love you so much… Please, accept me as your own..” Before she could finish talking, her step dad and sister (Peggy) broke in tears and hugged her. He accepted her as her daughter and started staying with her again. He took her back into school. Peggy was so happy to live with her step sister once again. They could go to school together and study together.

Later on he married an SDA woman who took care of the two girls (Peggy & Charity) at home. The girls had really grown. Peggy was in class 6 while Charity was doing class 8 at Brookhouse school. The girls were also intelligent at school.

Noami’s Ex boyfriend ran mad at the Coast and 5 days later he was found dead in unfinished house.

If you don’t want any problems in your current relationship or marriage or life, forget about your Ex. Give him or her a distance. Don’t entertain them. They will destroy everything.

If you still love your Ex, please don’t jump into another relationship or marriage. Ex boyfriends or girlfriends will always disturb or destory your current relationship or marriage. Some of them are even jealous of your beautiful relationship or marriage. If you Still want your Ex in your life, please don’t engage yourself in any relationship. What good is your Ex going to bring or provide or show now that he failed to do when you were still together?. Please, wake up and grow in mind!! Stay married to your husband or wife,  and live happily forevermore… Good night dear.

Upholding Carnality Over Spirituality In The Name Of Fashion

Credit Marriage Pink